Shocking news from today’s edition of The Onion. According to a zombie-preparedness study, the city of Pittsburgh is entirely unprepared for a full-scale zombie attack. This news couldn’t come at a worse time - with halloween just around the corner.
“When it comes to defending ourselves against an army of reanimated human corpses, the officials in charge have fallen asleep at the wheel,”
Said Pittsburgh Mayor, Tom Murphy.
Zombie Preparedness Institute statistician Dr. Milton Cornelius recommends that Pittsburgh residents prepare a “go-bag” containing a Glock 17 pistol and 50 rounds of ammunition. If leaving the house is not an option, Cornelius advises residents to barricade all first-story doors and windows, and have at least one method of suicide prepared, should zombies successfully breach the home.
[Via The Onion]
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