Oprah has her Favorite things - so why not RyeBrye? This is the start of a random section where RyeBrye will fill you in on some of the finer things in life. Then you - like Oprahs readers - must go mindlessly buy up all of these items that exist. 
The Space blanket has a strange name. It has little to do with space - and it’s really not big enough to be called a blanket - but if you are ever in a bind and you have nothing else - you will be glad you have one. (Unless, of course, you are in Space - because then your body would explode).
When I was in Boy Scouts as a child - I first had a chance to use one of these when I was on my Wilderness Survival merit badge campout. (That merit badge, in my opinion, is the most worthwhile merit badge in all of Scouting - yet it is not required to be an Eagle scout. Such a shame, because when most people [outside of Utah] think of Eagle scouts - they think of little boy MacGyvers… [most people in Utah think of 13 year olds that can barely wipe their noses]). It was a great thing to have with me. I just wrapped myself up and slept like a baby.
The Short Person Conspiracy explained
The most recent time I used a Space Blanket I had a slightly different experience. My experience alerted me to the existence of the Short Person Conspiracy (SPC for short). The SPC is awaiting a cataclysmic global cooling event. When the planet is rapidly icing over - people will reach for their Space Blankets to protect themselves from instant hypothermia - only to realize that they are far to small to cover a grown man.
The blankets are specially constructed so that no matter what - you will not be able to find a comfortable way to keep your whole body warm unless you are under 5 foot 5. Even if you try to curl up in a little ball - if you are above 6 feet tall the blanket is perfectly sized to be just barely too small to actually wrap around yourself.
You may think I am lying about the SPC. I am not. In fact, they already have an evil device that will cool the entire world in a matter of seconds - but the only problem is that the contracter who installed it was a tall person, and he put the button to high for them to reach.)
If you want to foil the SPC’s plan - simply buy two space blankets. You can then wrap your legs with one and your torso with another… Although make sure everyone else in your group buys at least one - or else you will be stuck “helping others out” when they were not smart enough to bring emergency supplies…Hear that Yancy? Chris? Porter? Next time - you’re on your own!
What side faces out?
To this day I have no idea which side you are supposed to have facing out - since both are highly reflective. I’ve always guessed that the shiny silver side faces in toward your body - and the golden side faces out. I may be wrong.
Where to get a Space Blanket
Sure, you could just go down to your local outdoor specialty store and buy one of them - but then you are missing out on the fun. You should go to MooseJaw.com and buy one - because of two reasons. The first reason is their price is good. The second reason is - it’s MooseJaw… They are happy people.
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:56 pm
i must say that space blankets are amazing…in fact, they may have saved my life during that experience that Ryan was alluding too with Chris, Porter, and I. However, I would like to clear somthing up. I don’t know why my name was included there because I had brought my own space blanket.
Maybe if everyone is lucky they will get to hear our cool story of how we had to use them so as NOT TO DIE and how SAR went looking for us and how we had to go bail Chris out of jail and then he bought us all Wendy’s. Oh, good times.
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:58 pm
Oh. Woops. I thought I brought two of them. I would correct it - but then your comment would look stupid.
May 4th, 2006 at 12:59 am
no need to correct it. I’m pretty sure you did bring two of them. But I also know that I had one of my own that I brought. Only problem was it had been used before and according to the package (if I remember right) you’re not suppose to reuse them as they don’t work as well for some reason…maybe due to the crinkling in the reflective material??? I don’t know. Anyways, I do know that I was still cold, so it must not have been working as well as it was suppose to. I guess you just can’t be frugal when it comes to emergency equipment that might save your life….or the life of your friend if they were careless and didn’t bring their own.
May 6th, 2006 at 10:12 am
I want to hear the story of why Chris was in jail!