The official website of RyeBrye. Sometimes known as Ryan Gardner. » Ugly Knitted Thing of the Week

UKTOTW – Necklaces

Nicole — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:55:32 +0000

Knitted necklaces. They’re like mini afghans for your neck.

Ahhhh, cozy.

UKTOTW – Barrettes

Nicole — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:28:35 +0000

You don’t see big barrettes much anymore. At least not since 1989. I like how adding knitting to a barrette takes it from an overlooked accessory that holds back hair to, “Oh my gosh, what is on your head? Is that a muppet?”

UKTOTW – Transformer Hat

Nicole — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 02:28:38 +0000

This isn’t a transformer hat in the Optimus Prime way. Instead it actually transforms from a benign looking hat with a large brim to this:

I can only imagine it being useful for recluses that want to scare small children, or for people who want to be taunted about not having a Halloween costume before scaring the living crap out of the taunter by pulling down the brim.

UKTOTW – Eyeballs

Nicole — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:17:26 +0000

Yes, UKTOTW is back – until I get lazy again. Enjoy while it lasts!

Remember when you were little and went to those creepy haunted houses where you got to feel monster brains (cold cooked spaghetti) and eyeballs (peeled grapes)? Those grapes were so darn sticky. Ick. What you needed was a bowl full of these. Ahhhh, feels just like a bowl full of scarves and mittens.

UKTOTW – Knitted Christmas Tree Hats

Nicole — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:09:56 +0000

That’s right. Plural. More than one person thought it was a really great idea to knit a hat that looks like a Christmas tree. While some of these aren’t as tacky as others, the concept still condemns them all to ugliness.

It does make me wonder – when you are wearing a Christmas tree hat, does that mean you think you are a gift to the world?

UKTOTW – More knit food

Nicole — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 01:23:57 +0000

Once knitters get tired of making useful things like sweaters and potholders, and even not-so-useful things like doll blankets and kleenex box cozies, they must arrive at a point in their knitting journey where the idea of knitting something that looks like food is just amazingly appealing. Maybe it is the thought that someone might actually be fooled by it . . . Here are some of my favorite examples that I’ve found recently. I especially like how happy the corn and banana look.

UKTOTW – Chain Scarf

Nicole — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 03:21:38 +0000

This UKTOTW is for the people who want to sport the look of the Ghost of Christmas Past, but don’t want the weight of a real chain.

UKTOTW – iPhone

Nicole — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 01:42:26 +0000

Back by popular demand – or actually, the demand of RyeBrye himself – is UKTOTW. Now you can marvel at more incredibly weird things that people want to spend time meticulously handcrafting.

This UKTOTW is for those people who want to join the iphone craze, but really don’t want to switch carriers or pay large monthly bills. Rather than look woefully obsolete on their silly, internet-less, ipod-less, swipe-and-delete-less phones, they can create one of these for themselves and no one else will ever suspect their real phone is from 2006. (Gasp!)

UKTOTW – Knitted Sandals

Nicole — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 22:13:12 +0000

I know, the weather is starting to get colder and sandal days seem a thing of the past, but maybe if you start on a pair of these now they will be finished by spring.

UKTOTW – Sock Monkey Hat

Nicole — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 21:20:05 +0000

Sock monkeys are one thing when they are creatively made from a pair of socks and represent a toy of some sort. When you start to create hats that look like a sock trying to be a monkey, that’s where I would draw the line.

UKTOTW – Knitted Wig

Nicole — Sun, 29 Oct 2006 21:30:45 +0000

Just in time for Halloween, here is a wig for any one who wants to go as a gum drop or a Lego with colored hair.

UKTOTW – Steering Wheel Covers

Nicole — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 23:07:20 +0000

I’m holding out for knitted hub caps. Fuzzy ones.

UKTOTW – Cat Muumuu and Guinea Dress

Nicole — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 00:54:31 +0000

Uh, the UKTOTW took a little break there at the end of summer, due to ~~laziness~~ being busy. With colder weather coming in now there are more Ugly Knitted Things than ever, and that means more pictures for UKTOTW to share.

Here are the much anticipated Parts II and III of the UKTOTW Pet Clothing Line – The Cat MuuMuu and the Guinea Dress

The cat muumuu is for all those “big boned” cats that want to hide a little of the pudge they’re been accumulating beneath their fluff. With a drawstring waist, it can be expanded to accomadate even the laziest of cats.

The cutesy guinea pig dress reminds me of a phrase . . now let me thing of how it goes . . oh yeah, it’s something like, “You can dress them up, but you can’t make them cute.”

UKTOTW – Dog Sweater

Nicole — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 02:17:21 +0000

Note: This is the first in a three part series on knitted pet clothes

Sometimes the best way to tell a loved one that you really care is to put some time and effort into making them something very special. And if your loved one happens to be an animal, and you happen to be a knitter, you may just decide to knit some clothes for that animal. I am yet to be convinced that animals 1) look better in clothes 2) appreciate the warmth and 3) need red henley sweaters with upturned collars, but who am I to judge?

UKTOTW – Patriotic Pocket Wrap

Nicole — Sun, 02 Jul 2006 21:00:08 +0000

Like a big, warm hug from the American flag, this lovely knit wrap not only keeps you warm but has two handy pockets as well. Happy Fourth!